Racing to Bring Sevi Home...

We have kicked off our Helen Grace candy bar drive today! We are looking for 150 businesses, churches and organizations to pull their team members together and help us bring Sevi home by buying a box of candy bars! (Families are welcome too!) Each box is $100.
We hope by the end of March to meet this goal! 

If you own a company, work for a company, shepherd a church, attend a church, coach little league... You get the idea; would you talk to your boss, your pastor, your co-workers, your teamates, and ask them to help us by being one of the 150 we need? If a $100 is too much but you would like to help, ask others to chip in with you. If you can get three others to  help it is only $25 for each of you!

To purchase a box you can order by mail, or purchase directly here on our blog. just click on the donate button at the top right of this page, or if you would like to order by mail you can contact us at:

lullabiesacrossthesea@yahoo.com

 

Be sure to include your shipping address! Boxes will be mailed out right away!
Thank you!

 

 

Stronger, Not Defeated.

Several days ago I thought seriously about going into hiding as an adoptive parent. To protect myself, my children and family from all the intentional evil that exists from naysayers of international adoption. There is also those who hurt unintentionally with their lack of knowledge and understanding, and then there are the willfully ignorant. They are indifferent to truth on any subject but particularly when it regards self. They have an opinion based upon nothing. No facts or evidence. The Bible calls it being right in their own eyes. A fool.
After I got over being afraid I got mad, and now Im somewhere in the middle. But through it I realized how much I care about the children who need a Father and Mother, an advocate.

The fact is MOST people don't care about Orphans.
The definition of orphan is not: mother and father is deceased. The definition of orphan is: "a child who is bereaved of father, mother or both". (Websters1828 Dictionary)
Bereaved means deprived, stripped and left. Whether one or both parents die or whether a child is relinquished due to poverty or neglect the end result is the same: a child is without a family.
Without a father or mother, without an advocate.

It is a PARENTS duty to advocate for their child in what ever needs that child has. So children without parents are vulnerable to sickness, disease, abuse and poverty. So what do these children need more than anything? Parents. Not political reformation.
Children don't need government, they need the rules and boundaries of a safe and loving home. The leaders a child needs to look to is mom and dad. Of course political stability is a factor in the success of a family and community but a child doesn't have time for grown ups who aren't their parents to figure out and fight over what should be done about them. Parents know what is best for their child. Not a country. Not ANY country.
So what does every child on any continent need more than anything? Parents.
If I go flatline because of what people might say about me and my children I am not ushering forth the truth, i am suppressing the truth. Opposition of right is always trying to silence and oppress. And what is the consequence of that? In this case, millions of children wasting away with no identity, family or purpose or hope.

This recent battle of wills against a naysayer brought out the tiger mom in me in full armour. A tigress.
I love being a mom. And I will do what I do best: love my children and advocate for them in order that they will will be able to live their lives to the fullest according to their convictions and gifts and talents. And my roar for my children has just gotten bigger for not only my own but for all the millions of children who have no home, no family no advocate. My advocacy for these kids is for them to have a family. I will not be silent.

Yes, whole families when and where possible need to be strengthened in order that families can stay together. I know this personally as a single mom of five for almost eleven years. I have supported and will continue to support single mothers in their success in raising their children. I have done that in very practical ways, and I will do more, as Im sure other individuals and groups will do. But in the mean time, simultaneously, without delay... There are children in desperate urgent need of a family. And my voice will be used to bring children home to mom and dad where they can be safe and cared for, and raised with a hope and a purpose.

Beth

We Interrupt the Regularly Scheduled Program for An Important Announcement

This was written last night:

 

Earlier today I recieved some information that made me rethink having our story so public. I reacted as any mother would under the circumstances, yet when the initial shock wore off I questioned whether retreat was the right thing... and I've decided no. It's not. I only have one thing to say, and for those who are aware of the situation you will understand where this is coming from:

Everyone who... cares about their neighbor, whether it's the neighbor next door or their neighbors on another continent they have something in common. They care. How they go about that caring may look different. Even questioned. But the bottom line is not every human rights activist is a worm, and not every adoptive family is guilty of buying their child. It is the opposite. The MAJORITY of both groups are going about their convictions and decisions in a moral and ethical manner.
Too often we run in fear of the minority. I'm not running. I have no need too.
We have adopted from the DRC recently and we are doing it again. Why? Because One: I like kids. Where is the evidence of that? I have SIX biological kids. Is that enough proof for you? Two: I have lost several children during pregnancy, two in my second trimester. I held them, i named them. And we as a family knew we still had room in our hearts and busy life for another one and pregnancy didn't seem like a viable option. Three: I have my own opionion on whether a child should remain in a country to starve because there is no means within their own country to have a future or a family. And the last time I checked we are FREE to have our own opinion on a matter and to act on it. Some care about the children, some care about the soil, the whales, the owls, the trees, and everyone who cares about what they care about are free to act on those convictions as long as it is done in an ethical and moral manner. And for every adoptive family to turn tail and run because unethical practices do take place, child buying does take place, in fear of the mantra that All DO IT, is a shame.

Moving onto FUNDRAISING. FACT ONE: International adoptions are expensive, most people who set about adopting don't have a bunch of free assets to cash in and use towards their adoption. Fact number TWO: Neither do most human rights activist. They are asking for help for their cause. Some of them have donate buttons on their pages. Hello?
Two: We did use most of our own savings for our first adoption and raised the final support mostly through benefit concernts my daughters and their friends put on for our friends and family.
We had no plans on adopting again when we traveled. But a human being came across our path who we as a family came to love, so we are doing everything we can to give her something she has been living without for quite some time. And if someone is willing to help us help her God Bless Them.

I want to thank all of you who do not know us, yet know and trust most adoptive families are good people who love children so you have stepped forward to help us.
I heard a question posed..."what happens to these kids once they are adopted". If this person had done their research, they would know our family has been busy with holidays, park days, get togethers with friends ect. That information was open for all to see. And many many other adoptive families have willingly shared their lives with their new children so there is no need to ask what happens to these kids when they get home.

I read recently that horsemeat has been found in frozen lasagna in the UK.
Guess what I had for dinner last night?
Frozen lasagna.
Why?
Because I know not every frozen lasagna is made from horse meat.

Nor is every adoption unethical. And to accuse individual families of doing so and using their childrens photos' without permission or knowing them and their stories personally, is intentionally unethical, immoral and exploitive. The very thing you say you are against.

We are adopting. We welcome you to follow us along on our parenting journey. We have made a decision to save the photo's for another day. But we're not going away:)

An Update of Our Two Daughters

We have a total of 296 kisses for Sevi! Thank you everyone, and keep those kisses coming! Next Thursday is Valentines Day. Our goal is 1000!
To buy a kiss for Sevi just click on the donate button on the right side bar. They are only$1! One dollar will help to bring this young girl home... don't underestimate what a dollar can do. It can do a lot when many will step forward with just one!:)

(If you are reading my blog for the first time  be sure to watch the video of:  Sevi Wants to Come Home on the right side bar to know what this is all about:)


 

296 Kisses

 

 

Only five days left before Valentines Day!

 

 

  I know many of you would like to hear more about our time in country and Maida's adjustments (and ours!). So I'm going to do everything backwards and tell you a bit about the transitions,where we're at today in our attatchments/bondings; Maida's health and develoment, then hopefully sooner than later get back to our time in Congo as I haven't even scratched the surface of all that we saw and experienced while there.

 

 

 

 

So without further adieu.. 

 

  

 

This is Maida today:)

 

Yes, she kind of looks like a boy here, but we still can't do much with her hair and we are all tired of headbands lol. Notice the pink crocs and the hearts on her shirt:) She is very much girl!

 

We have been very very blessed at her willingness and ability to attatch and bond with us. To be quite honest in regards to attatching I think it has been easier for her than for us! It has taken running through the gauntlet so to speak, and getting through to the other side to realize how much we love her and enjoy her. It took getting to know her to truly appreciate her. And it took her time to get to know us. The results: we think she's pretty fabulous, and she thinks we're pretty fabulous and we find it amazing how well we became family when only eleven weeks ago we were complete strangers to one another. A friend shared this passage of scripture with me tonight and it perfectly sums it up:

 

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Cor. 13:7

 

When we chose to adopt, we made a decision to love a child we never met. Everyday it's a choice and an obligation. Not a feeling. Feelings can't always be trusted to lead you to do what you ought not to do, or what you ought to do.

For example:

There were days  when I wondered  what the heck I had done. I mean who falls in love with a 2 1/2 year old:?! Usually your love for a child begins in its infant stages. When they are sweet and innocent.You then have two years to make your love and devotion rock solid so when they turn two and beyond you have the fortitude (lovingly) to face the battle of wills you may encounter for the next many years!

When those years are missing, whoa! I was caught off guard. I didn't have the two years since infancy to know her, and have a rock solid love for her before I was confronted with a will of her own.

I thought I knew me. But then  I saw a side of myself I didn't know existed. But God knew;) and what another perfect opportunity (like so many in the adoption journey!) for God to show me how desperately I need to be changed when compared to a perfect and holy God.

 An opportunity for Him to say "Hey, you. You need me. Your faith needs to grow, it's weak. You don't trust Me.You depend way to much on yourself and not nearly enough on Me".

P.S. " You also think way to much of you and not enough of others"... yeah... good learning opportunities. Ouch.

 

So you're wondering...  was she that bad? Ha! No, I am. I'm bad in the sense that I thought I would never have difficulty in loving someone elses child. I never thought that I had trust issues with God until through this I realized I trusted Him second. Not first. See when I'm out of answers I go to God. I shouldn't be going to God when I can't come up with my own solutions; I go to Him for the solutions. From the get go. And it took a lot of face falling into mud to realize... I'm not so smart. Don't bother going to self first. Go to God first. Only go to God, leave self completely out of it.

 

 I should clarify: Maida is not a spoiled, lacks in self control, temper tantrum throwing kind of two year old. Nooooooo...

 When she has the strong determination to win and have her way in a situation,

there is no fit throwing.

Just quiet, lethal,  jugular, I'll show you moments in which not a word is spoken (Which is the total opposite of her happy side. Her happy side, which is almost all the time, is non stop, barely takes a breath chatter, All. Day. Long. and is completely amiable)! We determined the only thing that she owned before coming home was her will. And she wasn't going to give it up. At least not without a fight.

 

It was very intense in Congo at times because I felt I had my hands tied. You see we were there with our in country co ordinator from our agency, which is like driving with a police officer in you car lol. (Can you say paranoid?)! So I couldn't wait to get home in familiar surrounding to assert myself as the one in charge.

 

My asserting sure didn't get us very far. The more assertive I was, the harder she'd get and the more frustrated I'd become. Then the light bulb went off  or rather... God hitting me over the head, saying, " GRACE. GRACE. GRACE. She's this way because she's had to be, show her she doesn't have to be this way anymore". " You want me to show grace to this 23lb little imp child who can win in almost any situation because she doens't care about consequences, Grace"? "Yeah".

 

 How we got from the battle of wills to miss happy chatty cathy was to make lots and lots of deposits of love, fun and reassurance to where she began to forget about keeping her guard up because she didn't have too. She began to get use to love and warmth and affirmation and the fellowship of family that when she is reprimanded she wants to correct the wrong in a more willing and timely manner (thank you God), than before. She's allowing, yes allowing, someone else to be in charge of her.

We've become more important to her than her will. She is seeing that being a member of a family is more rewarding than being a lone soldier.

 

  I have learned that adoption is a lot harder than I expected, but I know and am already seeing that anything God is for... if you do it His way... in time..will become a beautiful thing. 

 

Don't believe me?

Take a look...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain"...

Ps. 127:1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



A Thousand Kisses for Sevi!

 

 

We are launching a Valentine Fundraiser. "A Thousand Kisses for Sevi"!
Our goal is to sell 1,000 chocolate kisses for Sevi by Valentines Day.
All kisses go into a large vase that we will save for her homecoming. She will see the love of many in each kiss. We will add updates through pictures of how her vase is coming along.

A KISS IS ONLY $1!

WE HAVE EIGHT DAYS... Will YOU be Sevi's Valentine?

Click on the Donate button at the top of the page. If you would like to send a dollar through regular mail send me an e-mail at Lullabiesacrossthesea@yahoo.com for our address.
Please share with all your friends to help give "A Thousand Kisses for Sevi" this Valentines Day!
Thank you!

Sevi and her family

Some Truths About Fundraising:

 

 

 ...There is no room for pride...

... You're doing what you're doing because you love your child and you are his/her greatest advocate...

... ...You need to remind yourself (and others!) money isn't the goal, your child's well being is...

...When others make you feel bad, don't...

If you can't dodge those feelings take them and decide you will bear what ever you must for his/her sake. That's what mothers and fathers do.

I was a single mom of five for over ten years. I never did anything illegal or immoral but there was many times when my face wanted to burn with shame and embarrassment as I walked door to door asking to wash cars, or go through construction sites picking up bottles and cans to have enough extra for food or rent. I did what I had to do because I loved my kids. Not providing for them or meeting their needs was not an option.

Most of you who are reading this have already adopted or in the process of adopting and you know rich people are not the norm when it comes down to who adopts. It's folks with heart, compassion, conviction and a whole lot of faith!
Money is the least of their possessions.


I have loved two children who had no home, no parents to keep them safe, fed, or loved. Gods grace gave me the fortitude, to do what ever was necessary to bring one child home. And I'm trusting He will do it this time too.
Don't be ashamed of loving your child.
Be willing for their sake to bear scrutiny, criticism, and hurt feelings to end their hunger, their loneliness, their fear.

Remember, fundraising isn't about the money. It's about your child.

P.S
After I wrote this I got an email with this link... It was so good I thought about not posting about fundraising and just share the link... But then I saw the connection...


"rescue and a ransom" that's adoption...

 

 

Beth