Lullabies Across the Sea: An Update of Our Two Daughters

We have a total of 296 kisses for Sevi! Thank you everyone, and keep those kisses coming! Next Thursday is Valentines Day. Our goal is 1000!
To buy a kiss for Sevi just click on the donate button on the right side bar. They are only$1! One dollar will help to bring this young girl home... don't underestimate what a dollar can do. It can do a lot when many will step forward with just one!:)

(If you are reading my blog for the first time be sure to watch the video of: Sevi Wants to Come Home on the right side bar to know what this is all about:)

296 Kisses

Only five days left before Valentines Day!

I know many of you would like to hear more about our time in country and Maida's adjustments (and ours!). So I'm going to do everything backwards and tell you a bit about the transitions,where we're at today in our attatchments/bondings; Maida's health and develoment, then hopefully sooner than later get back to our time in Congo as I haven't even scratched the surface of all that we saw and experienced while there.

So without further adieu..

This is Maida today:)

Yes, she kind of looks like a boy here, but we still can't do much with her hair and we are all tired of headbands lol. Notice the pink crocs and the hearts on her shirt:) She is very much girl!

We have been very very blessed at her willingness and ability to attatch and bond with us. To be quite honest in regards to attatching I think it has been easier for her than for us! It has taken running through the gauntlet so to speak, and getting through to the other side to realize how much we love her and enjoy her. It took getting to know her to truly appreciate her. And it took her time to get to know us. The results: we think she's pretty fabulous, and she thinks we're pretty fabulous and we find it amazing how well we became family when only eleven weeks ago we were complete strangers to one another. A friend shared this passage of scripture with me tonight and it perfectly sums it up:

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Cor. 13:7

When we chose to adopt, we made a decision to love a child we never met. Everyday it's a choice and an obligation. Not a feeling. Feelings can't always be trusted to lead you to do what you ought not to do, or what you ought to do.

For example:

There were days when I wondered what the heck I had done. I mean who falls in love with a 2 1/2 year old:?! Usually your love for a child begins in its infant stages. When they are sweet and innocent.You then have two years to make your love and devotion rock solid so when they turn two and beyond you have the fortitude (lovingly) to face the battle of wills you may encounter for the next many years!

When those years are missing, whoa! I was caught off guard. I didn't have the two years since infancy to know her, and have a rock solid love for her before I was confronted with a will of her own.

I thought I knew me. But then I saw a side of myself I didn't know existed. But God knew;) and what another perfect opportunity (like so many in the adoption journey!) for God to show me how desperately I need to be changed when compared to a perfect and holy God.

An opportunity for Him to say "Hey, you. You need me. Your faith needs to grow, it's weak. You don't trust Me.You depend way to much on yourself and not nearly enough on Me".

P.S. " You also think way to much of you and not enough of others"... yeah... good learning opportunities. Ouch.

So you're wondering... was she that bad? Ha! No, I am. I'm bad in the sense that I thought I would never have difficulty in loving someone elses child. I never thought that I had trust issues with God until through this I realized I trusted Him second. Not first. See when I'm out of answers I go to God. I shouldn't be going to God when I can't come up with my own solutions; I go to Him for the solutions. From the get go. And it took a lot of face falling into mud to realize... I'm not so smart. Don't bother going to self first. Go to God first. Only go to God, leave self completely out of it.

I should clarify: Maida is not a spoiled, lacks in self control, temper tantrum throwing kind of two year old. Nooooooo...

When she has the strong determination to win and have her way in a situation,

there is no fit throwing.

Just quiet, lethal, jugular, I'll show you moments in which not a word is spoken (Which is the total opposite of her happy side. Her happy side, which is almost all the time, is non stop, barely takes a breath chatter, All. Day. Long. and is completely amiable)! We determined the only thing that she owned before coming home was her will. And she wasn't going to give it up. At least not without a fight.

It was very intense in Congo at times because I felt I had my hands tied. You see we were there with our in country co ordinator from our agency, which is like driving with a police officer in you car lol. (Can you say paranoid?)! So I couldn't wait to get home in familiar surrounding to assert myself as the one in charge.

My asserting sure didn't get us very far. The more assertive I was, the harder she'd get and the more frustrated I'd become. Then the light bulb went off or rather... God hitting me over the head, saying, " GRACE. GRACE. GRACE. She's this way because she's had to be, show her she doesn't have to be this way anymore". " You want me to show grace to this 23lb little ~~imp~~ child who can win in almost any situation because she doens't care about consequences, Grace"? "Yeah".

How we got from the battle of wills to miss happy chatty cathy was to make lots and lots of deposits of love, fun and reassurance to where she began to forget about keeping her guard up because she didn't have too. She began to get use to love and warmth and affirmation and the fellowship of family that when she is reprimanded she wants to correct the wrong in a more willing and timely manner (thank you God), than before. She's allowing, yes allowing, someone else to be in charge of her.

We've become more important to her than her will. She is seeing that being a member of a family is more rewarding than being a lone soldier.

I have learned that adoption is a lot harder than I expected, but I know and am already seeing that anything God is for... if you do it His way... in time..will become a beautiful thing.

Don't believe me?

Take a look...