The Journey to Home... Not the End, Just the Beginning...

Since we were in country for two weeks we had lots of opportunity to spend time at the orphanage Maida was from. My daughter Gabby was allowed to tag along with Mama J almost everytime she went to tend to the children and staff at the orphanage. It was an amaznig opportunity for a young girl of seventeen who has the hopes of one day ministering in Northern China to the North Korean orphans who are stateless children there.

She loved the kids, and they loved her. She studied and learned a great deal of Lingala before we left and picked up a great deal more while in country.  Her time with Mama J was very special to her and she hopes to do it again.
Those days were priceless for the both of us. Stronger than just mother daughter bonds we share a deep love for our Creator and the orphans he has intrusted us believers to care for. As a little girl I had dreams of traveling to Africa to spend time loving on the least of these. I had the same dream for China. My daughter Gabriella was able to walk along with me in my journey to Africa. A dream realized.  And I know one day, I will walk alongside her as she  realizes her own dream that God gave her of loving the least of these in Northern China.  That my friends is a sweetness no hallmark card could ever convey.

Gods plans are always bigger than our own, and He begins the process long before we ever know it or ever have any say or way to foil it:) Thank goodness for that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am so happy to tell you while we were in Congo the Lord gave us a heart for another daughter. I know I still haven't covered all there is to cover about the journey to Congo for Maida, but I can't keep it in anymore. While we were there we fell in love with a girl whose spirit captured our hearts and we are going back for her. So now you know what has kept me from my blog. While we have been busy with bonding with Maida, we are also preparing for...

 

 

 

Follow us as we continue to share not only our yesterdays in the DRC, but also our tomorrows.

The Lyles Family

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Journey to Home... Part Two...the Morning After Gotcha Day.

Getting to know you... getting to know all about you....goes the song from the King and I.

 Well that would be a good way to describe the following day after the exciting and exhausting first day!

On gotcha day Maida was very quiet and subdued. Not until dinner that evening when she was reunited with several of her friends and their new families did she speak. Not to us of course:/ but boy did the kids talk among themselves! We picked up early on that their main relationships was with one another. They looked to one another for comfort, for advocacy and leadership. They trusted one another. They were willing to listen to one another. Even to submit. But those same rules didn't apply to me lol. Or the parents of the other children who were going home while we were there. We knew early on that it was going to take time for them to trust us.

This photo is not of Maida being distraught over being with me, the complete stranger. No.... she was distraught because I took my phone away from her after letting her play with it for some time. She did not like me telling her what to do!

There was no temper tantrums, or crying... just a really really cold shoulder... for a really really long time;)
After a while I sensed something else might be up. She looked very tense and anxious. I studied her for a few minutes and quizzically asked her a couple of times what was wrong, and then my mommy instincts kicked in and I asked... SUBA? (pee in lingala) She nodded her head emphatically so I rushed her into the bathroom and relief came to the both of us!
When we picked her up at the orphanage I asked the nannies about her being potty trained and they told me no she wasn't at all. So what a pleasant surprise! She was completely potty trained with the exception of night time.
This is her after the potty break...

For the record, this is how she is... One minute in the depths of despair with pain of disappointment all over her face then back to her million dollar smile. Back and forth she goes.  She fits into our house of women very well!

We spent the morning getting acquainted then left to go to a local market within walking distance. She needed shoes. And even tho I brought her three different sizes from the states, her feet were so skinny none of them fit.  So we looked to Congo to provide her with shoes and shoes we found!

 While walking to the market we came across a known and loved street kid of Mama J's, (our in-country coordinator who was there with us the whole time we were in Congo). She had him come along with us so she could catch up with him and see how he was doing and eat lunch with us. Gabby gave him some gum which he thought was way cool and Mama J took him to buy a soccer ball afterwards.

An interesting tidbit: I planned on not eating while in Congo. I am very picky about what I put in my stomach and since I was in Congo with my newly adopted daughter and my older daughter from home I felt I couldn't afford to get sick. But peer pressure swayed me to not be the bump on the log and join all the other families who were there, in going out to eat. I am so glad I did! My daughter and I enjoyed the food there so much. From pizza, to chicken and rice, to pilli pilli sauce mixed with mayo and ketchup to dip our fries in; It was all sooooo good. And I didn't get sick once! But I have my theories on that. I think it had to do with my strict diet regemine of probiotics, cod liver oil, and super green food by Garden of Life and no sugar consumption for about six weeks prior to leaving. I didn't even get one mosquito bite while I was there... for TWO WEEKS!

So I should probably clue you in on a few things you might be interested in if you're in the process of adopting from the DRC:

I didn't get every shot under the sun before we left. I'm very conservative in the use of vaccinations. My daughter and I received the mandatory yellow fever shot and a tetanus shot. That was it. We also got a prescription for a general antibiotic which we never used, and malarone which we took faithfully.
We also took along lice shampoo, elimite for scabies,  ringworm medicine, and  general pharmaceuticals in the event of diarrhea, cold, allergies ect. We ended up using the ring worm medicine after getting home:/ It was no biggie really. I had imagined much worse lol.

Maida had a fungal infection on her head which we treated while in Congo. It's like ringworm and many of the kids had it. The remedy is to shave their heads and apply a topical ointment in conjection to taking an oral anti-fungal. Good news is her hair is growing back and all fungal infections are gone!

Her head was shaved by a young man who works at St. Annes. He took her out back of the convent with a bar of soap and straight edge. He spoke to her very sweetly in lingala before starting. Asking her how she was and then reassuring her not to worry and not to move. She never flinched.

The finished product!

There is still so much more of our trip I want to share with you. I'm anxious to do so for a variety of reasons: We have some big news that I cant wait to tell! It is the biggest reason why I have not spent much time blogging recently;) Stay tuned!

The Journey to Home... Part One

I know I am way over due in sharing how we finally got to little Maida. I am very sorry.! It has been, well.... Busy lol!

No matter how "prepared" I thought I was both practically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually prior to leaving when it came down to departure day we were scurrying for last minute things to pack, adding items to our donation tubs,and dealing with a host of emotions. I think the best way to clue you, the reader, in on all of that; is through pictures:)

     We took only one check-in suitcase between the two of us. It was filled with mostly food and toys for Maida to play with while at St. Annes. We took jerky, Lara bars, dried soup cups, sardines for Maida (who loved them!), nuts ect. The plastic rubbermaid tubs were our other allowed checked in luggage. They were filled with donations of school supplies, formula, baby cereal, clothing and some toys. We each carried on two carry on bags. We had everything we would need in them for the most part in case something happened to our suitcase. I'm a mom. You plan for the what if's! We flew out of Los Angeles into Dulles Airport. Onto Brussels, then into Angola for a refuel, then back up to Kinshasa. We left LAX early morning on October 31st and arrived in Kinshasa about 9:45pm November 1st.

 

My Traveling Companion! Gabriella. She is my fourth child, third daughter. Her heart is for the orphan and hopes to minister to North Korean orphans along the northern Chinese border someday. We shall see... a part of her heart is now in Congo:)

She learned a lot of lingala before we left and picked up a great deal while in country.  She has a gift of language that I am sure God is going to use someday. It certainly was used in-country and has been a great help since being home in communicating with Ida.

 

 

 

Saying good by to my husband. I was homesick before I left and had many weepy day prior to leaving. We had decided to use our agencys in-country co-ordinator as a family escort. For several reasons; mainly she was familiar with the country, the contacts in country, and the country itself. That proved to be a very wise decision! We met up with her and two other families at the Dulles airport and traveled together the rest of the way. It was great getting to know everyone before we arrived in Kinshasa.

 

At Dulles Airport

 

 

 

 

Meeting Julia, our family escort. We both loved her, but she and Gabby created quite the friendship:)

 

A traveling parent. My girls and I gushed over the cuteness of her little boy over the months of getting pictures of Maida and the children in her orphanage. He was more adorable in person than even in pictures. It was so exciting to get to meet his mom and know he would have a good home and be loved lots!

 

 

                               Another parent. We fell in-love with his sweet little girl while in Congo.

 Brussel Airport. It was very nice. And yes we bought chocolate but not until we came back through on the way home.

 

 

This is St. Annes. We stayed here for eleven days and we loved it. Mosquitoes, cold showers and all. It is an old convent turned into a guest house. Many adoptive families stay here and NGO workers along with traveling nuns, priests and volunteer Drs. and Nurses. We arrived late at night so it wasn't until the following day we were able to go to the orphanage and pick up our new daughter.

 

 

           Mine and Maida's bed. It was a full sized bed. Gabby had a twin bed next to us. The mosquito nets are invaluable. Our room would be full with mosquitoes by nightfall. It was a great comfort to crawl into bed and drop those nets and fall asleep. Malaria is the number one killer of children in Congo. They said the mosquitoes were very bad while we were there and just days before we were to leave Maida contracted it:( more about that later.

This is the view of the orphanage when you drive up. Notice the tall walls and barbed wire at the top. It is a very narrow road. The car almost touches the walls and gate and you have to scootch out your car door carefully into the door of the orphanage where you are met by a man who is hired for security.

 

Walking into the orphanage. Julia is infront of me and she is talking with the nannies. They then take us to find Maida:) All the children were sleeping as we arrived during naptime.

                         The moment I've been waiting for! Seeing my new daughter. She was sleeping soundly, was wet and sweaty but I didn't care. I scooped her up. She didn't know what to think being woken up by a strange white woman. The nannies took her from me to clean her up and put on a clean dress.

 

Getting acquainted.

                                     

We were told she was tiny, but surprised on how tiny. Her arms and legs and buttom was no bigger around than an infants. The pictures do not pick that up. Her feet were the skinniest feet I've ever seen.  She was weighed at the Drs. office the day after getting home and was 22lbs. We believe she had gained some weight while we were in Congo so not sure how much she weighed the day we got her.

 

 

 

                                                         
                                      




                                     

                   Maida meeting Gabby, Gabby meeting Maida. She (Gabby) was so excited I let her hold her. She was worried I would take the whole coccooning thing too seriously and not let her hold her lol.

 

 

 

 

The nannies and some of the children. They all were so much smaller than what we expected and more beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving for a new life.

 

 

 

She didn't cry while we were leaving just very quiet. I knew it would take time for her to trust me and know that her tomorrows were meant for good and not for evil. We have the rest of our lives to convince her of that.

 

 

When we got back to St. Annes I gave her a shower for a thorough cleaning and to look her over from head to toe. She has never had a warm bath or shower so she took it like a champ. I slathered her in lotion and lots of love and put on a clean outfit and met up with the other families and Julia for a night out to celebrate.

 

 

 

                  Meeting up with friends with their new families in the foyer of St. Annes.

 

We all had much to celebrate. Additionally, Papa J, who works with Julia in Congo and does a great deal for us family's and our children prior to travel and while in Congo celebrated his birthday with us this night too. It was a wonderful night and the food was great. It was Italian believe it or not!

 

 

 

                                                The end of day one as an ex-orphan.


While we were in Congo it was easier for me to update thru facebook. All my first thoughts and impressions were journaled there. There is wifi at St. Annes, but electricity comes and goes as does wifi, and we found it easier to upload pictures from my phone and write on facebook than to blog. I will eventually post those journal entries here.
There is SO much to tell you. I am very impressed how other families with blogs convey their thoughts as they have journeyed through the paperwork, the traveling and transistions at home in such poignant yet condensed writings. I am still sorting through the emotions, the practicalities of adding a new member to the family,  all the things we saw and felt while in Congo along with moving forward with a big  decision we made while in country, I don't have a clue how to give you an organized, meaningful expose of it all but I will do my best.

Much love and thanks from all of us as you have prayed, supported and followed us along on this journey. I will continue more of the story...so come back soon.

Beth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Home...

We have come home with a daughter and a love for a country that is horrible and wonderful. I will update soon and post many pictures. There is much to tell.

P.S.
Maida is doing wonderful....

Beth

The Wait is Over... We Are In Congo

I no longer am wondering who this new daughter of mine is! I have been getting to know her since the 2nd!

We were scheduled to leave on the 30th but hurricane Sandy prevented us from doing that, so we left the following day and arrived here in Kinshasa the night of November 1st.

I am very behind in my posts and am sorry for that:(
As the days got closer and closer to leaving I was very overwhelmed mentally and emotionally. We were making a risky decision to travel prior to having Maidas visa issued, then getting word that DGM, the office here who issues the required exit letter would require at least a seven day stay in country. Everything we had planned for at this point, ( a five day stay) was becoming obsolete and we were now having to make new plans and it was all very unsettling as we tried to figure out what was best to do with the new information.

Several others families were traveling at or around the end of the month so we decided to jump on board and go then too. We decided a two week stay would be as safe as you can predict here for getting the needed papers in order. It is looking like that was a wise decision as our visa has been issued but we are still waiting on our exit letter. Today is Thursday and we are scheduled to leave Monday.

I was homesick before we even left. I cried about leaving my family and was crying with joy and excitement at the thought of being so close to meeting my new daughter. I as a mess but here I am now sitting next to this new treasure from God!

We met up with two families at Dulles airport and our in- country co-ordinator.  We all were able to fly together all the way to Kinshasa and are staying at the same place which has been wonderful and comforting.
We have been able to watch other children from Maidas orphanage be united with their families. To be sure you know who "we" is, my daughter Gabriella is my traveling companion. Her heart is for the orphan and has been my right arm in this whole process. One day she hopes to be in northern china working with the North Korean orphans along the border. This was a great opportunity for her to experience a third world country and help out in the orphanages.
My husband and I decided to use our in-country co-ordinator as a family escort so he could stay at home with the rest of the family knowing we were in safe and competent hands as long as we were with her.
She and Papa J are invaluable. Both do a great deal of work for this process. She in the states, and he here with the children. While in country he is our driver and translator. We are so thankful for them.

Our connection here is very very slow and unpredictable but if possible will post more updates and try to upload some photos soon.

She is wonderful. Smaller than we thought and spunkier than we thought lol!


Beth

One Day At Time Little One...

Today is embassy day. I have been feeling a wide range of emotions:

Excitement,
concern,
grief,
joy.

As each day gets closer to traveling, I am understanding more about the losses my little daughter has faced, and know more is to come when I pick her up.

She has already been through so much. She has lost home and family, and now she is about to loose her country, and the familiar surroundings of the orphanage and the workers whose faces she knows. Whose language she speaks.

This isn't a post of regret but a post about acknowledging the pain and hardship my daughter has gone through and will continue to go through until she begins to trust in her tomorrows with her new family.
My arrival most likely will bring more pain, more hardship for her. For awhile anyway and that grieves this mothers heart.

Adoption is a good thing. For families, for children. But it's a hard thing too, because it stems from loss.

My hope and prayer is that my family, myself and my God will be a healing salve to her broken heart and life. My hope and prayer is that I will be the momma she needs and deserves and we will keep her connected to the culture she came from while at the same time giving her a new country to grow up in. I don't want to take any more from this sweet child. I only want to add to her life. The Congo will always be a part of my daughters life and it will always be a part of this family's future.

God,
Thank you for this new child of mine. Be with her today as she sits and wonders about this appointment she goes to. An appointment that will change her life for ever. Use this day to usher in blessings from your heart to hers. Keep her for me. Prepare her heart for her new life. Give me the ability to understand her heart and needs. And allow me to be a gracious momma that will always care for her first mom, the one who gave her life. Help me to be a sweet blessing to her all the days of her life. Teach me how to teach her of your love and goodness. Change me so that she will know you through me.
Allow her to receive my love, our family's love. But most importantly your love. Help me to love her as you do.

Thank you God for Maida. Thank you for creating her and allowing me to share in her life.

Beth

Counting down to Embassy Date....

                                                               Embassy Date!


We are in the last stretch. The agonzing, terrifying, can't wait any longer stretch. Will this day be the day we hear all is right regarding Maida's final paperwork and we can go and meet our daughter and bring her home?

If they accept her paperwork, we could get her visa very soon after and travel by the end of the month. If they ask for more information... it could drag out for who knows how long. Not knowing which direction it will go until we get there is SO difficult.

Sometimes reading the blogs of others who are or have adopted from the DRC can add to my already anxious heart. There are examples of visa's being issued days after the embassy appointment and examples of visas not being issued after MONTHS of the embassy appointment.
Wondering what will our story be? When is she going to have a home and family?

One of the reasons (not ours), that people adopt from Congo is the short adoption process. Well that is true for some, but not for everyone; and irregardless of that, in my book six months is too long for any child not to have a family. A mother and father who know them and care about them and share in their day to day life.
Six months of Maida's life I know something about... that she has been without family. And that breaks my heart and I want that to end for her.

Every morning I wake up and acknowledge another business day is over in Kinshasa. Has the needed work been done today so that my daughter can have a family this month? A forever mom, dad, brother and sisters? I hope so. I'm praying so. Please pray with me....

Beth